About a year ago, I posted my Five Know’s of Air Travel. I have three more, three don’ts.
Number Six: This morning, as I was scarfing down a boiled egg before leaving for the airport (an attempt to not succumb to the carbohydrate-heavy smorgasbord of the near-defunct US Airways Club), I was reminded what not-to-do: Board with boiled eggs. Do not do it. I almost did, until I opened the container in which I had stored said boiled egg the evening before. Phew-yyyy! Hence why I scarfed it down in the few minutes I had to get out the door; Ken should be grateful I did this instead of doing so in the car.
Number Seven: Canned tuna fish…I do not know how people eat it. I cannot get past the stench. So, please, do not dare to think it would be nice to bring along such a sandwich for that cross-country haul.
And, Number Eight? Never smack gum. Surely, you can silently chew a piece. But, smacking and cracking it? No! Even if you are in row number one.
What are the nasty habits of others you cannot endure up in the air?
We all know the don’ts of air travel: Don’t turn on your phone after the doors are closed or before landing, don’t carry on more than two items, and, by God, don’t dare think of boarding before your turn.
So, instead I present five of my do’s.
Charge! I have become extremely dependent upon my smartphone for just about everything (boarding pass, watch, book, magazine, messenger, planner, theater, and phone) that I take advantage of every opportunity to keep it juiced up. Many airports now have convenient charging stations and we no longer have to look silly sitting on the carpet by some isolated outlet. But such amenities are few and far between (i.e., a privilege and not yet a convenience). And, unless you’re sitting in first class on certain planes or on an overseas flight, charging above 10,000 feet is not an option.
Stand, Stretch, Walk Move! Instead of sitting at the gate, waiting impatiently and listening to annoying announcements, get up and wander around. Peruse the overpriced souvenirs. Blocking fellow travelers rushing to their gates can be fun, too! There’ll be time enough for lounging around later.
Elevate If you must sit and wait at the gate, then throw your feet up on your suitcase like I do. Yes, it may seem gauche to some, but who cares? Your legs and feet will thank you later. Socks or no socks, that’s up to you (socks for me). But, ladies, do take extra caution when wearing a skirt or dress.
Alleviate Popping a few pills before your flight may be just as important as staying hydrated. Two regular old aspirin to prevent DVT. I know personally of frequent fliers hospitalized because of it and that’s proof enough for me. Though, remember, I am not a medical doctor so best to consult one when in doubt.
Learn and Obey Get over it and learn to tolerate the Transportation Security Administration. They are here to stay. The TSA website is chockfull of useful information; everyone who flies commercially should review this at least once. They even have an app (gasp!). And, the TSA actually has a formal complaint process if you feel you have been treated unfairly…I highly recommended using this over making a scene at the airport. Really. Bottom line: THERE IS NO EXCUSE NOT TO BE PREPARED. And, you are dumb if you get into trouble for making snide remarks out loud.
Yes, no doubt, air travel has moved on from the days of glitz and glamour
to comfort and efficiency. What travel tips or quirks do you have to share to make it a bit more tolerable?
Today, I resurrect my life as a road warrior.
It’s Monday for many of us, so I thought I would add a bit of levity to begin the day: Louis C.K.’s rant about how we whine about everything amazing. Enjoy it during a
smoke social break. I’ll still be laughing to myself as I sit on my chair in the sky.
(Be aware that Mr. Szekley is not known for family-friendly language.)